Goodbye, Malaysia. :D

this would be my last post before i fly to the land down under, in like, an hour. :D

i'll miss Christopher Felix, Kenny Shak, Alice Leong, Vickie Lee & Jessica D'cruz the most, when i'm gone.

promise me one thing, WHEN IM BACK, BY THE 11TH, FILL ME WITH ENTERTAINMENT LINEUPS! :D

fret not, souvenirs are a definite for the five of you! :D

of course, my other friends as well. :)

take care of yourselves kay?

i'll be home in a jiffy! xD

xx.

a weekend at granny's in ipoh.

hello KL!

i just came home from a weekend stay in ipoh.

oh gosh.

the 2 hours ride there, and the 2 hours ride back, was horrible. :(

here's snapshots of my weekend stay over at granny's.

DAY 1.

we arrived on friday, at around, noon.

the amount of stuff we brought back for granny was insane.

daddy & mum.

granny & cousin.


bobby, the dog. lol.

he has that, "hey!" face. lol.

chinese new year cookies my mum and aunt made for granny from kl.

granny always distributes them to her friends.




the list of graduates in the family.
im next! :P



ah yes.
came across this pic.
shits, this is ancient.


on the way to dinner, i came across this bird.
i found it pretty. :)


back home.
you can never find this in kl or anywhere else.
my granny thought the air cond was too cold, and i thought it was too hot, so she placed this on the air cond so that i can get all the air while she dont get any.
BEST OF BOTH WORLDS MAN.


there's nothing much to do in town. :(
sooooo boring.
the only thing to do there, was play cards with my mum and cousin.
which i lost. :(
lady luck wasn't by my side.



DAY2.
out for dinner and came across this really pretty shot. :)



one of the best chinese dinners i've ever eaten.
it's insane.
this smoked duck.
OH MY GOD.
the meat is lean, juicy, nicely smoked and tastes something like bacon.
did i mention that the food in ipoh are cheap and good?



back home.
my granny showed us this random flower plant.
it's apparently called, "chiok chai shue".
which means, bird plant. lol.
it resembles a bird, somehow.

one of my family's houses in ipoh, the one next to this, is also my family's. :)

there's lots of us, you see.

DAY3.

woke up in the morning for breakfast at this HUGE ASS DIM SUM RESTAURANT.

DAMN.

IT WAS HUGE.

2 floors, 6 shoplots in size.

insane.

check out the stairwell.

love the decor at that place.

sexy oriental style. ;)

one half of the place downstairs.

the main entrance.

see the balloons thingy on the right?

yea, my cousin bought this for me.

lol.

i think my cousin got a bit excited.

flying high. :D

my two favorite babies.

my new canon camera as well. :)

.

.

it's always better to be back home in kl. :)

Adrian's 19th birthday & today's breakthrough.

well, i just came home from adrian's 19th birthday celebration with the rest of the gang.

a total of 14 of us. :)

we went to manhattan at cineleisure to makan dinner, got the cake from secret recipe, and went to club9 at subang for pool.

.

.

we were once lovers.

.

we got into a huge fight, and a long, painful break up.

i thought i would hate you for the rest of my life.

.

.

but, today proved, that we can still be really good friends. :)

i enjoyed yours and everyone's company tonight.

and it was a great night.

once again, happy 19th birthday. :)

.

.

one more thing i want to write about today, is, not to predict things beforehand.

take this for an example.

at first, we were both planning to take business, so, we thought of joining the same college.

however, i could join the january intake, which i did, based on my trial results for SPM.

he waited till march, and that already changed the intake, and he even went to sunway to study business instead of taylor's business school like me.

i wanted to wait for him, until march.

but, my parents didn't let that happen.

if i were to wait for him, and joined sunway, can you imagine how hard it would have been for the breakup and get to be friends again, when i see him every single day?

.

.

the lesson i got from this, is that, i should not predict things wayyy before hand, as, it might just snap you in the face, when things go wrong.

no more, "oh i plan on seeing him for the rest of the year."

"maybe i'll do that for his NEXT birthday."

come on, if it doesn't happen, you'll be CRUSHED.

rather not predict, or expect anything, and not get disappointed.

the reason why i took the breakup too hard, was cos i had too much hopes on it.

i thought we were unbreakable, and we were solid.

guess i was wrong.

but, well, i'm not mourning about the past.

i feel that the reason why the relationship didn't work, was cos both of us just stopped giving, we were both taking.

and after a while, there was nothing more to take, and it just dissolved.

.

.

well, my next relationship, would be different, i hope.

i'm getting sick of breakups. -.-

treat a relationship like a box, where only two of us can open, give or take from it.

if we kept taking what is in there, there will be nothing more one day.

we need refills! :D

the more we give, the more we get at the end of it.

we'll see how that turns out.

as i said, i've done enough of hoping and dreaming.

.

.

goodnight.

history repeats.

will you find someone who will care for you like how i do?

will you find someone who will love you like how i do?

will you find someone who can do the things i do for you?

.

.

i am lost.

i am confused.

i am thinking, where have i gone wrong.

all my flashbacks of the times, dont prove that i did anything wrong.

did i?

but, i've been watching my every step.

it happened once, in form4.

again in form5.

and now, once more?

i really don't see where it is i'm going wrong.

it's upsetting.

it really is, to know that, whatever i do, it's never good enough.

i don't know what else is there to say.

i've been putting in effort from day1.

but, why is it that what happened for the first few weeks, was wrong?

and now, it's right?

but, how?

i'm trying to understand the reasoning, but, i cant.

treat our relationship like a tree.

it starts from the roots.

and now, we're way up to the leaves, only to find out, there's something wrong with the roots?

how convincing is that?

i just feel as though, the roots are the basis.

the foundation of where we are today.

without what happened back then, we wouldn't have progressed so far.

maybe i should've waited.

.

.

was it a mistake?

should i have kept my mouth shut?

should i have not pursued?

i am upset.

very.

a very sensitive person.

first of, i would like to blog about the people who actually meant something to me in 2009.

i want to thank each and every one of you, for making that year, a memorable one for me.

in random order, okay.
i purposely chose you guys' facebook pics, so no one will complain bout it being ugly. :P

every one of you have completed 2009 for me, and i hope i did the same.

cos, without you in that year, i doubt i could've pulled it through alone. :)

although i only managed to spend a little bit of 2009 with some of you, hey, 2010 is here!

we got a whole year to make it up for it!

i love every one of you. <3

Christopher Luke Felix

i met you on the last week of tbf.

one thing i regret, is that, i didn't get to know you earlier.

you signed off 2009 beautifully for me, and started my 2010 even more beautifully.

you made me so happy, no words in the oxford dictionary can describe.

you're awesome in every way i can imagine.

you're talented, smart, funny, sweet, nice, ohgosh i cant stop typing if i started.

it's easier to type out what i dislike about you, rather than like, to save time. :)

we will be enjoying every moment of this year when we step foot into our respective degree courses in the new taylor's lakeside campus. :)

i'm pretty sure we'll be in the same block, since we're both taking business degrees.

just to let readers know, he's taking accounts & finance, whereas i'm taking applied finance.

HOW COMPLIMENTING RIGHT?

he'll do the accounts, i'll do the finance analysis. :D

hand-in-hand, strolling by the windy corridors.

ahh. perfect.

let's hope everything turns out perfect.

Alice Leong

i don't even know how to describe alice anymore.

she's like a sister to me, by now.

there's not a single thing in this damned world i cant tell her.

i can even tell her if im going for a poop or something.

if i were to start talking about alice, i think blogger will instantly jam up.

so, i'd rather keep this short and sweet.

i've been best friends with alice since form4 and it has been 3 long years, dear one. :)

3 SOLID YEARS MAN.

and out of this 3 years, we fought twice.

once, was for BU4 idol.

second, was cos of her asshole ex.

but, we reconciled and we're back on track. :)

as i said, the only thing that is left of BU4 in my life now, is the title of BU4 Idol first runner-up duet with alice, and alice.

everyone and everything else has changed signifcantly.

2010 would just add another year to our record la, alice.

you will be my maid of honor for my wedding, definitely. :)

Vickie Lee Shuhui.

i met this monkey during orientation week itself.

ahh.

i'm lazy to explain what happened all over again.

i got one thing to say.

based on the picture, i'm SURE you can tell she can just pose with any damn thing.

rambutan also want to pose with it. -.-

and looks nice. -.- even more.

but, honestly, without vickie with me throughout the year, i think i would have given up a long long time ago.

all the dramas, the fights, the assholes, the bitches, was overwhelming la.

and luckily, vickie and i are both ruthless when it comes to fighting back.

practically like two spartans against the whole community.

well, we fought our fight well. :)

we pulled through safely, didn't we.

from the start, till the end, still, i look to my right, there she is.

vickie lee.

smiling like a sohai spongebob. hahahahha.

i just HAD to ruin the moment la. :P

eh bitch, change to art school la now??

ditch me la?? :(

how am i going to pass degree without you??

hmph. :D

Celine Chen Zhiquan

ahh. celine, celine, celine.

i've known her since form1,

got close in form2,

fought in form3,

reconciled in form4,

fought in form4,

reconciled in form5,

got close again towards the end of college.

what an awesome poem huh. :)

haha. i just know that she is some drinker la.

turn out looking like a lobster with ee chian every single time. xD

damn funny la.

eh, why i got nothing to say one?

cos it was really the last 2 weeks of 2009 before we got close again.

nvm. we have 2010 all set up la.

she MIGHT be my singapore trip partner as well. :D

Syazrin Amzar

this guy, i've never met a bigger asshole than he is. :D

but, that's why i love him so much la.

he's just so, URGH.

gets on my nerves while making me smile all the time.

i bet you can tell from the photo huh.

he was the one who brought in the word, 'so asian' to my life.

and that's where it all began la.

we are like, damn compatible in pool.

it was him that i kept practicing with, which makes me not bad today. :P

through the ENTIRE year, he made me laugh like crazy.

even days when i'm not in the mood to joke or play around, and i will literally fire anyone who tries to play around, he still took the risk and made me laugh. :)

Shinji Chew Way Hoe

*fingers stopped typing*

*smiles*

shinji, has been one of the best friends throughout the year.

you were there when i needed someone so badly.

and even when i was fine, you were STILL there.

my "valentine's baby" partner.

damn cute la, knowing that you have the same birthday as i do. :D

i really really love that fact.

and also, you truly are a unique friend.

saxophone?

capoeira tutor?

flying fox instructor?

although i hope that we could have gotten closer in 2009, we shall work more in 2010! :D

Aaron Christopher Ravindran

this one here, is the one with the personality closest to mine.

his jokes, im the first one to understand.

his past, i have went through it.

his thinking, is my thinking.

damn easy to communicate with him.

i doubt i will ever get into a fight with him la. :D

did i mention he is an awesome singer?

no wait.

awesome is an understatement.

SHITS MAN.

DAMN SOLIDDDDDD.

his singing, is sooooo serenading material.

plus the guitar, shits man, bugger.

sexual chocolate at his best. :)

i didn't get to be THAT close to him, just yet, cos he's chris's best friend and i practically got reallllly close in november only.

2010 is here, work on it! :D

Jay Anthony

he was one of my besties in foundation as well.

he is sooooo extreme with girls, it's amazing.

i think, he changed 3 girlfriends last year itself.

NOT inclusive of the flings.

this guy is like, malaysian casanova man, shits.

see this pic?

he said, "chinese girls cant get enough of me. regardless of the age."

AH YES!

all the stories you told me, really kept the year interesting la.

at one point, it was rahul, jay, vickie and i.

rahul left, and changed to IT course.

then jay, well, decided to go off to another group of friends.

sadening, but, oh well.

you still meant something to me in 2009.

Brendan Tang Dian-U

i just HAD to take this pic of him, cos he looks like a teddy here.

bahahahhaha.

i know he's definitely saying, "whathehell?" right now.

it's his favorite word.

even at times when it's irrelevant, he'll just say it.

i'm sure he just said it again. :P

haha. anyways, brendan is another pool buddy la.

he has a live fossil on his neck. -.-

okay, that was a whatthehell moment alright.

he says, it breathes.

BAHAHAHHA. DAMN CUTE LA DAMMIT.

shits. hahahahaha.

but, he can be a real ass when he wants to be.

when he knows im not in a good mood, he just ENJOYS to rub it in. :(

assssss.

and he calls me anal queen. -.-

what is that.

asshole queen, or butsex queen?

either way, i dislike. pfft.

Rahul Sivam

i've known this guy the longest.

since primary school.

daymmm.

but, we were never close la, until 2009.

he was in the group of 4 with vickie, jay and i.

i just wanted to include you in this group of people that meant something to me in 2009, just to let you know, no matter how many fights we had, you are still not forgotten! :D

i know, so sweet right.

so pickle-licious right? :P

haha. really, you're not forgotten as one of the groupies i had in 2009.

.

.

.

.

NOW ABOUT MY SECONDARY SCHOOL VISIT.

my previous class, once known as 5siantan.

it's now a form3 class.

it hurts so bad that all the memories are still so fresh.

it's just, no longer the same.

the only thing that remains a happy memory for me from this class, is my friendship with alice.

that's the only thing that remained the same from then till now. :(

the 'mount everest' we used to climb every single day, a few times a day to head up to our class.

the corridor where the boys from raya will be fooling around, playing with the mirror and the whole corridor will be filled with people walking around, and when pn lee(discipline teacher) comes out of the office to stare cock at us, everyone runs in or walks like a duck just to cover from her. lol.

memories laaaa. shits.

where we used to have assemblies in the morning.
i have lots and lots of memories here, definitely.
all the 'spot check' moments, which i ran away from, every single time. :P




a view of my class on the upper floor.
.
.
well, while walking through these places, it just brought so many flashbacks.
all the shadows of friends, ex-lovers, and all the dramas that came with it.
5 years here has been a really really long time.
nevertheless, i remember every single moment of it.
it has been one year ago, since i was a student of BU4.
yet, i just miss it so much.
the long strolls, only to get caught and scolded at.
the times i bring my handphone to school, get it confiscated and plot with my mum to come up with a lie to get it back.
the times we ran away from 'spot checks'.
the fights.
the laughs. (lots of em)
the ponteng times.
last but not least, the dating moments as well.
oh gosh.
better not start there.
when i went strolling again with alice on the last day of the year, the memories burst like an orgasmic moment.
the school was empty, totally.
it was only alice and i, walking around.
i felt weak in the knees, gulped my tears back.
i'm a very sensitive person, and i guess, memories still hold me back, once in a while.
college is fun, and exciting.
but, it's missing the authenticity somehow. :(
maybe it's cos we were mixing and mingling around with the same people for 5 years, in the same place.
but, now, every year, you change your group of friends.
take business foundation january intake for example.
orientation week, one group of friends.
after a week of getting to know them, split into different classes.
once i respective classes, first sem, everyone was together.
second sem, cut by more than half.
third sem, hello vickie and val.
it took me one whole damn year to find my true friend.
and GUESS WHAT.
she's changing to art school, this year. -.-
#$%^&*(#$%^&*
since i'm going to applied finance degree this year, i'll be starting from square1 again.
that's the damnest thing.
i guess, and i hope, that the degree years would be better than the foundation in terms of friendships and pathetic arguements and grudges.

.

.

.

now, this has been a longggg post.

thanks for the patience, and have a great day. :)

my final thoughts about you.

this post is gonna be about this guy i once knew.

after seeing you today, and hearing more stuff about you, i realised one thing about you.

i wanted to call you, text you, or even drop you an e-mail just to let you know what i think of you.

but, i decided to just blog about it.

i've realised that you are, pretty much an empty vessel.

you weren't before.

a pretty outside, and nothing inside.

you used to be so loving, but, what happened to you?

and there's one thing about you, that i realised have changed, or had it in you all this while, which i did not know about.

i know, that you have gotten hot, gorgeous, anything you can possibly describe a beautiful guy.

and does that give you the entitlement to just change and head on to someone new?

i heard what you said on new years.

"why all the chun chics all got boyfriend one?"

you see?

how materialistic, judgemental, and shallow you have became just cos you became one of them.

i didn judge you when you were looking like a normal lad.

now, just cos you turned into a jock, you must accomodate with your jock personality and go for the cheerleaders etc, right?

i'm not here to rant cos i still have feelings for you.

im just so disappointed that you have changed to someone which i dont even recognise, or maybe just never knew you had it in you.

you know, all our friends are shocked, surprised, gasping by them finding out the things that you said or did.

i will not blame you any longer.

as blaming you, or faulting you, will make myself upset and reminisce about the past.

which is something i've done enough of.

it's no point having something for someone so shallow.

before i end this post, i just want to ask you one question.

"what if someone judged you when you were nothing, a year ago, and left you cos of that?"

is that true love?

no it's not.

what you did, what we shared, i doubt it was ever true after all.

you disappoint me.

you disappointed what i saw in you.

so what if you look hot now?

so what if you get those, 'chun chics' you were talking about?

let's see if that is called, LOVE or LUST.

i loveD you.

with a HUGE D.

we have a couple of friends which are assholes as well.

but, one thing i know is, i dont judge them.

they're still our friends.

and as for you, i judged you cos you once were someone special to me.

now, i'll just see you as one of them jocks in school trying to get the cheerleaders and sleep with every girl on the squad, just to fill your ego.

mark my word, young man.

you will be the one sitting alone, thinking back to those times when there was love, not lust.

and also, touch wood, but, when anything horrible happens to you, or your grow old, and out of shape etc, you'll realise these 'chun chics' wont be there for you no more.

this is not my assumption, it's the theory of life.

this is all i want to say about you.

however, i do see you as a friend, and always will.

and as a friend, all i can do is advise you, to open your eyes.

before you check out an awesome silver, shiny packaging and gag all over it, try opening it and see the inside, whether it's empty, or filled with gold.

that way, you'll learn to appreciate the insides more than the silver packaging.

good luck to you, and finding your, 'chun chic' that can offer you gold inside as well.

goodnight.

a long long year.

2009.

it has been a crazy ride for me.

from the moment i enrolled to Taylor's Business Foundation, till right now, 3am, on the 31st of december.

there has been too many ups and downs for me to even list every single one of them.

let me just try to highlight them as much as i can.

January, exactly on this very day, i was arguing with my ex.

right before new years. got into group 3.1, and everyone was in one tight group.

February, my 17th birthday.

March, the moment SPM results came out and my ex did really badly while i did pretty alright.

the month my ex went to his new college and started changing to an asshole.

April, the month he officially started being an asshole. had a huge fight with alice. the beginning of sem2 in college. the group started to spilt.

May, the month where everything started to crumble between him and i.

June, it officially ended between my ex and i. but, he left me hanging.

July, hard month. i was trying to let go of the relationship so badly.

August, WORST month of them all. i failed accounts1 in sem2. my blogshops got hacked. my ex treated me like shit while trying to 'patch things up' at the same time.

September, started to try to pull my life together.

October, getting over him halfway. new blogshops got dry. financially unstable. reconciled with alice. the college group finally went down to vickie and i alone.

November, the end of Taylor's Business Foundation. the month, i've officially gotten over the asshole. the month i met **Him as well.

December, the month where things were looking up between **Him and i. i failed my accounts2 and bst. sat for the supplementary paper, and passed it. i graduated from tbf. :)

.

.

January 2010, you tell me. :)
.

.

**Him.

after a brief summary of the year, i would like to highlight the most important part to me right now.

i think, day and night, about ways to make this work.

baby, it's not that i dont understand you.

but, think of it from my side as well, it ain't easy.

my family ain't giving me an easy time, and yet, i stand strong and fight for you.

my exs may be able to see me everyday, lie to their parents, get me expensive gifts, call me every second of the day, and announce to their family the minute we got together.

practically, all the riches of the world in every aspect.

but, i've never compared them to you.

not once.

not before, not now, not ever.

i never wanted you to be like them, i never set the expectations higher for you as well.

i just wanted you to be, you.

and that's exactly the way i love you.

a neat packing with priceless contents.

that's what i like about you.

your manners, your gentleman-manners.

your talent.

your intelligence.

your humor.

your smile.

your eyes.

your package.

your everything.

you are who you are, on your own.

and once again, i never compared you to others.

why would i want to compare when i've found the best?

as you know, i've been trying my very very best, to understand your situation.

everyone sees me as a rebel, a hardcore, and also, getting things the way i want it, and when i want it.

not being cocky la.

just that, i will find ways of getting it when i want it really badly.

but, dear one, i've been really patient with you, i know you know.

my patience limit is drawing near.

and you really should know that.

you've been amazing.

yesterday was amazing.

the moment we were walking in our new campus, hand-in-hand.

going through floors, the lifts, under the hot sun.

the first of many many more strolls along campus, together.

the night car rides(not what you pervs are thinking about), with our secret way of communicating, without anyone else in the car ever knowing.

i will not trade you for anything in my life.

i will never trade our memories with anything else in my life.

as you said, "we'll come up with our own memories. wherever your ex and you went, we'll go. just to overcome those bitter memories with our sweet ones."

although sometimes, you get into some bitch fit and really piss me off, i still love you.

as something i heard today, "Love is like a circus. It is magical, terrifying and fun at the same time. Also, you don't give up when the girl on the highwire falls."

but, remember one thing, baby, falling down the highwire too many times, will cause death.

we wouldn't want that, do we?

i know we've said before, that we'll work things out, no matter what.

without rushing into irrational decisions.

but, i cant make these decisions on my own.

i need you to contribute and share this burden with me.

else, this will just crumble before us.

the magic, the fireworks, the missiles, the everything, would all be thrown to waste.

just remember how our first conversation was like.

i know you do.

i know i cant draw.

i tried.

the red lines are the bars by the way.

in a nutshell, 2010 is coming.

and i would love to spend every moment of it with you.

promise me you'll make it a great one.

don't disappoint me once more.

i love you, and i miss you.

xoxoxo.

.

.

happy new year. :)